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May 19

A footnote said that Heliodorus was one of the famous group that had centered around Jerome at Aquileia in 370.  He had accompanied Jerome to the Near East with the intention of cultivating a hermitic life.

—“Why Do the Heathen Rage?” by Flannery O’Connor


Dear Dixie,

There was a knock on the door and a seventh grader was touring around some kid the seventh grader said was maybe going to be an eighth grader around here next year and can he show him The Cozy Room of Learning.

The wide-eyed potential victim was named Dupont, we learned, and Dupont might have been about two feet tall but he seemed pretty sure of himself.  We all welcomed Dupont and when he came into the room everybody wanted me to show their new friend Dupont The Teaching Stick and The Globe of Happiness and the chicken.  In other words, all the things they’ve been making fun of for most of their eighth grade career.  Now, go figure, they were giddy with support and inspiration for everything that’s ever occurred within The Cozy Room of Learning, which had been wonderful and fun and had changed their lives.  I’m fairly sure of it.

Somebody screamed … Touching The Teaching Stick is unholy!

Somebody else screamed … Are you a knowledge seeker, Doo-pont!

Poor old Dupont, I could tell—profoundly and immediately—looked as if he had walked into a camp meeting of chimpanzees who were feeling very territorial at that moment and had been drinking a lot of beer.  Every eye was on him.  They were all leaning toward him.  They all had grins on their faces that were—profoundly and immediately—a little blood thirsty.

I tried to break the ice.  I asked Dupont if he liked … vexillology!

Dupont said he didn’t know what that was.

I told Dupont we’d learn him some vexillology!  No worries!  Then I asked Dupont if he liked Georgia History!

Dupont said he didn’t know yet.

Dupont peered onto the awe-inspiring contents of The Globe of Happiness, and it pretty much got real worse after that. 

The chimpanzees screamed … Whattaya think of that!

Proudly, Dupont told the class that he doesn’t … eat candy.

I cannot fathom why Dupont would have said that to these rabid candy eating machines.  I scooted over and opened the door for our visitors so they could get to safety. 

Dupont and his tour guide scooted on out real fast.

I yelled after Dupont … Have a good summer!  See you in August!

Then Debbie summed up the event pretty nicely.  She said if Dupont comes back here next year she’ll be surprised as hell.



Next Entry ... May 21: Coconut Bras.  Perfectly Fine, Fellas