DIXIE DELIRIUM: Ramblings On The Fine Art And Act Of Teaching
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A DIXIE DIARY: The Spring Semester Of My Rookie Year
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Old Burrell Almost Killed Me In High School Lit Class. Now I'm What You Call His Colleague
Classroom Confidential: Bodily Funktions
Teachers Have To Write Essays, Too. Here's 932 Southern-Fried & True Words Of My Own
Essay A Go-Go: What's Up With Them Adults?
Rebel Yell: Give Todd A Holler

March 19

The chicken is the closest living relative to the Tyrannosaurus Rex.



Dear Dixie,

So the speaker phone honks and it’s Lurlene and she asks what I’m doing.

I said I’m talking to you.  I always drop everything when you … honk.

How nice, she said.  Listen.  I need you to hide the chicken for a while.  Actually, for the rest of the year and go ahead and hide the pillow and that stupid stand thing you put him on.

I said I would ask why but I already know why.  But anyway … why?

Because a lot of the chill-ren are becoming real agitated they’re not getting the chicken and this whole chicken thing is just going to get out of hand and I don’t like out of hand.

I asked her … well … did she know that someone came in here and pulled its head off?  Did she know someone came in here and destroyed my property?

She said she knew that a long time ago.  Old news.  Just get rid of the chicken.

Now I’m starting to get agitated, too.  I was thinking there might be a lot of chill-ren not getting the chicken … but there are a whole lot of them who want it and do the work to get it.  I almost tell ol’ Lurlene that I’ll bet it was her who came in here and pulled its head off … but I didn’t.  Or I'll bet it was she.  Whatever.  I don't have the energy to remember grammar rules.  What I do tell her is that I’ve sensed the vibes and have been hiding the chicken anyway.  I started doing it a few days ago.

Oh.  Okay.

I basked for a moment in the feeling you get sometimes when you call Lurlene’s bluff.  It’s one of those wonderful feelings.  But it's real, real rare.

Lurlene said there was something else.  That she was looking at my grade book and test and assignment schedule on the computer and said we don’t give pop quizzes … we call them review quizzes.  So you need to change your leen-go.

I said that was news to me.

She said I’m telling you now … review quizzes … and then she said she went ahead and changed it for me.  Review quiz.

I thought this whole conversation had an I’ll-bet-a-parent-or-two-has-complained feel to it.  I asked Lurlene have the chill-ren been complaining already about my pop quizzes?  The quizzes are over previously-covered material.  It ain’t like they’re pulling the answers out of the air … or guessing.     

There was a long pause.  A real long pause.  Then Lurlene said … Ex-cuuuuse me?

Sometimes I forget she's in charge.



Next Entry ... March 23: Democracy In Inaction